Looking back while going forward
It’s the time of the year again: reviewing the past year as well as making a new list of new year’s resolution. For me, things have been … “calmer” this year. Compared to 2019 and 2020, 2021 was still eventful but less dramatic and soul-stirring.
Inspired by this blog post, I’d like to recap 2021 into 3 sessions with 3 of my most-listened songs, dissecting the correlation between the lyrics and what I feel about life during this past 365 days around the sun.
Solar Power by Lorde
There must be a reason why the title track of Lorde’s new album, the song that radiates major summer energy was my actual most listened-to song on Spotify last year. Like a lot of people who appreciate outdoor activities and going out, the full lockdown during mid 2021 was pretty miserable for me. Not forgetting the stress and burden of continuous tests coupled with the anxiety of cancelled practical classes to add onto that “physical confinement”. This song harmonizes with my longing towards the great outdoors and my lowkey yearning to just pack my bags and leave everything. I never knew I’d miss the autonomy of being able to go wherever I want and meet whoever I wish so badly. I still remember the period of resentful complaints about the pandemic, the hopeful discussions of my supposed Borneo internships (which did not happen in the end) with my housemate and me sing-dancing to this song on repeat as solace. Luckily, we’ve came through. Things were more under controlled nearing the last quarter of the year which bestowed me sweet, sweet liberty.
The Same by Ashe
As humans, we tend to hold on to everything: money, power, fame, loved ones, happiness, youth while trying to consciously or subconsciously ignore the impermanent nature of it. Ah, how I wish this could last forever, a loitering silent monologue that is always there when I’m experiencing something special. At the start of 2021, I lost my newly adopted kitten after 3 months of pouring all my love onto her. I was heartbroken despite our brief time together but I guess this is our fate, c’est la vie.
Oh, I wish that you were still here
While the summer turns to rain
Oh, but nothing, nothing stays the same
Now I know nothing, nothing stays the same
What I love about this song is that it was able to capture the helplessness in wanting to persevere the feelings with the other person at the first part of the song which then turns to resignation and acceptance of impermanence. All accompanied by its somber but serene melodies. *chef’s kiss*
I know it’s trite but I need to say it again just for the sake of reminding future-me: the temporariness in life is what makes it beautiful and treasurable. We would never learn to be grateful if things will literally stay the same forever. Happiness comes and goes, just like pain, suffering, and everything else. Heck, transciency actually betters our life, it’s necessary for growth, for clearing up space and energy to welcome new beginnings, for opportunities of second chances to oneself.
jealousy, jealousy by Olivia Rodrigo
Of course people have felt jealous before, who doesn’t? The debut studio album, Sour, by Olivia Rodrigo is one of my favourite albums in 2021 and this song just so happen to struck me as the relatable, angsty, slightly bratty but special little song. With social media, it’s inevitable to compare our own life to what people post online. Even if I know what they share is only the tip of the iceberg and not a true representation of what or how their life really is, it’s so so easy to just wish I am like them.
And I see everyone gettin’ all the things I want
And I’m happy for them, but then again, I’m not
Just cool vintage clothes and vacation photos
I can’t stand it, oh, God, I sound crazy
Life is unfair even in this supposed meritocratic society. Despite being a whinging song, it also serves as a friendly prompt for me to push harder in order to achieve what I desire in life while being grateful for what I have. Definitely need to remind myself to implement the bronze medalist approach more often. (Refer to this post forthe bronze medalist approach)
I also want to point out how remarkable the bridge of this song is! The deliberate progressively dissonant piano at the background of the bridge is genius, it accentuates the craziness of how the song sounds hence making me like it even more.
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