The "Don't care what other people think" mindset is not as helpful as we thought

"Just be yourself!" "It doesn't matter what other people think" "You do you"

When taken out of context, these popular phrases sound pretty pleasant and motivational, if not solid advice to give yourself or others. However, I would like to differ and talk about why caring about what others think (on a healthy level) might perhaps be good for you.

1. It can be motivational

When a person wants to be portrayed as someone who cares about their health, they will try their best to cut down on greasy, over-processed food, hit the gym every day or maybe even cycle 10km to work. When a person wants to learn a new instrument and impressing their crush is the tipping point of driving the person to start, I don't see how 'caring what other people think' would be unfavourable. As long as people's perception is not the sole purpose/goal of doing something but rather as a complement, I believe it will serve you well.

2. It can deter us from doing harmful things

Most of us care about our families, our friends, our spouses and our partners. Naturally, in the case of doing something potentially detrimental to these relationships, we would ask ourselves: "What will (someone close) think of me if I do this?". For example, "What will my mom think if I smoke this cigarette?" "How will sleeping with this person damage the trust between me and my fiance?" They serve as caveats for us, and are usually effective in stopping ourselves from "following our whims" which could be dangerous. If you utter: "the hell with it" when confronted with these questions in your mind, I'm certain people that care for you would be hurt in the process. This could be applied to a larger scale as well. If Bernie Madoff cared about what people might think of him when everything fell apart, he wouldn't have executed the largest Ponzi scheme in history at the start.

3. Our life's journey depends on it

The best jobs are secured by employees who the company thinks are trustworthy and exceptional at doing their job. Your friend invests in your company because you strike her as a hardworking and diligent entrepreneur. A chiropractor will keep getting recurring customers if they believe he is good at making their back pain go away. If you have a spouse, he/she perceives you as the best candidate to spend their life with. What people think of you matters in a way that it shapes what your experiences in life will be, for better or worse, affects who do we choose to become.

In a nutshell, 'caring what others think' is a two-edged sword, it could work for and against you. If your value as a person is merely decided upon something as external as people's opinion, you could not be fulfilled or happy in the long run. "Everything in moderation" is the old adage I could not stress enough which I suppose to be a useful guide in manoeuvring this complex human life.